Does being nice get in the way of your health? Everybody is supposed to be nice right? Don’t ever offend anybody. Don’t criticize anybody. Don’t inconvenience anyone else. Maybe never upset people even if it means not speaking up for yourself?
Don’t fall into that trap. When we do this we end up making ourselves a doormat for life. With that attitude you will basically walk around as a sponge soaking up all the negative things around you. How does this get in the way of your health?
1. PRIORITIES: It interferes with your own priorities. When you give other people’s wants and needs over your own; yours always take the back seat. Maybe you really don’t want to eat junk food again but your friend does. Maybe your wife or husband really wants to go see a late movie when you know you should really be sleeping getting ready for work or school the next day. Things that are important to us fall to the side of the road when we put other people’s priorities above our own.
2. EMOTIONAL HEALTH: This is a big one. When we choose to be “nice” with our feelings it usually again means giving other people precedence. If a friend or family member is mad we may stuff our own emotions to please or “help” them in some way. We may not tell a boss, teacher, or friend when we think something they did was really crappy or wrong. So again, this basically turns you into a sponge that is just going to soak up your own emotions (negative and positive).
3. CHANGING: It is very hard to change when you are trying to be “nice” all the time. Life always has open doors through which personal change can occur. If we let the opinions of others or being nice affect us daily then those doors can never be walked through. It is an invisible barrier that we see that stops us from getting to the other side.
So what do we do here? The first thing you need to realize is that nobody is “NICE.” There are definitely people who are pleasant and caring and compassionate and loving. These are all good qualities. What i mean by “nice” is always putting others needs ahead of your own, keeping quiet when you are truly ANGRY inside, not giving voice to YOUR opinions and ideas, etc. So how do people get stuck in the nice trap? It usually seems to have to do with self-esteem. People don’t want to be judged or thought badly of so they try to be people pleasers. This never works out in the long run for anyone. The “nice” people end up pissed off at themselves and the world and that isn’t GOOD for any of us right?
So the lesson here? Be a good person. Be an honorable and loyal person. Be a forgiving person. Be unselfish and giving. Be loving. But be honest with yourself. If something somebody does bugs you; TELL THEM! If you need time for yourself, TAKE IT! If you feel you are being treated unfairly or want to voice your opinion, SAY IT! Don’t let the mask of; “Oh I’m just a nice guy/girl” become your excuse for not listening to your own inner wisdom. This all comes down to your viewpoint on LOVE which will be another post. We tend to think that love is always nice? Well I can tell you that it isn’t =) But it is GOOD.