Emotional Release Series: Genealogy

Harry Potter Family

This is an extremely complex topic that one could spend a lifetime mastering.  It is wise not to rush through this but to look at it as more of a hobby instead of something that has an endpoint.  Most people know that genealogy is the science of piecing together your ancestry.  This usually involves looking into historical fact-books, data, speaking with family members, and delving deeply into the past.  Most of society seems to look at this from a historical or factual basis.  Let’s find out what happened so that we know about it.  This topic extends beyond the realm of personal psychology and your own history.  It is impossible for something to happen to another family member without it affecting you in one way or another.  The bigger the event, the bigger it will impact your life.  So what are the rules here?  I can’t pretend to be an expert in this field, as I believe it takes years to master this type of thing.  Basically, people like having their pain and heartache acknowledged and expressed.  That is the “healing” response.  So what happens when you have an ancestor who didn’t get that healing?  Maybe there was a deeply bitter divorce that was never reconciled.  Maybe a business venture between two brothers went sour and they never made up.  Maybe a death of a child couldn’t be resolved by the parents.  When we do not resolve our personal issues, they get passed on.  It is almost as if the family has its own mental/emotional energetic account of checks and balances.  We all know Einstein’s famous statement about energy.  It cannot be created or destroyed right?  Well this works within family systems as well.  You would not believe how often negative patterns get repeated in family systems.  Family histories of alcoholism, abuse, neglect, it goes on and on.  Often times children will absorb the energetic imprints of the parents.  Somewhere along the lines, the healing must happen.  What happens when we keep putting it off and putting it off and creating cycles of families that often hide or don’t deal with the truth of their reality?  You end up with a society that is emotionally damaged, has health problems, and can’t effectively deal with the realities of the “real world.”  Sound familiar?  Back to the point here.  Genealogy is a good way to start working on these things.  Often times, we can grieve for family members.  We can grieve for people who are long gone.  We all have our personal energetic accounts.  We also have family accounts.  I believe we also have global accounts but that is a much larger issue.  So the family “accounts” must be updated, collected on, acknowledged, and resolved if ourselves and families are to be health and successful throughout life.  Genealogy is often dependent on what type of family you live in.  Some families may keep detailed records to share with the children.  Looking back through history, knowing your family lineage and bloodline was EXTREMELY important.  Telling kids the legacies of the family including the pitfalls and successes was a part of life.  This is not to say people didn’t try to cover things up back then either.  I think it was just less common than it is today.  It was a lot harder to hide things.  So now that Joe has ranted for a while, how do we start?

GATHER: Gather as much information as you can.  This is always the first step before delving into anything deeper.  This is mostly a factual or scientific step.  This may include talking to relatives and gathering dates and events that have happened in the past.  Make sure to highlight big events.  Divorces, deaths, business failures, depressions, mental illness, health problems, etc.  I would take note of good things as well such as marriages, business successes, good relationships, “the good times.”  Dates are helpful, but not as essential in my opinion.  Energetic healing works with a different time scale than “calendar years.”  Do not expect this step to be accomplished overnight.

TALK:  Talk to people about their lives after you have compiled all the nitty-gritty information.  Talk to your relatives about their lives.  As you can imagine, things often get complicated here.  There are often reasons that family has chosen to keep things “under the rug” or unspoken.  These things are painful.  They hurt to drag up, especially if they are not resolved within that person.  If they revolve around you, be especially accommodating.  Sometimes bringing things up from a place of Love and acceptance is all it takes to resolve something.  The point here is not to coerce or force anything out of anyone.  Don’t push too hard.  You are simply trying to get the highs and lows in people’s lives and figure out what they are willing to talk about.  This is often amazing hearing people’s lives stories.  We are often so busy with our own lives that we forget to step into other people’s shoes for a while.


MEDITATE/PRAY:  This step is about using your own intuition and the assistance of the universe to figure out what direction to take things in.  Maybe you feel that something serious happened on one side of your family, but you can’t figure out quite how to put your finger on it.  Ask for a dream.  Setting our intentions to dream about certain circumstances can often reveal information that we didn’t think we knew.  The strange thing is that we already “KNOW” what happened.   It is just trapped very deep in our own energetic systems.  Meditating or praying is very powerful.  It can be even more powerful when done as part of a group uniting for a single cause.  If serious emotions emerge, go through them with respect, caution, and wisdom.

This is probably one of the harder techniques for working with emotions and energy.  We need to be ok with stirring things up.  It may be the unwritten “rule” in your family to keep things hush-hush.  Things may become very uncomfortable at times.  Of course keeping family matters inside the family is important.  We want to respect everyone’s privacy.  Remember that healing is a personal choice.  It is sometimes easier if people are willing to heal with us, but it is not required.  If people are willing, seeking a relationship or family counselor may be appropriate.  Again, this topic is extremely complex and wise to do at a slow and steady pace.  We usually find what we search for =)



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