One Fear illustration from Book of Fears


Is VULNERABILITY the secret?

The secret to what you ask?  The secret to health?  The secret to life?  Which is it?

I am coming to believe that the ability to allow vulnerability in ourselves and others is one of THE keys to living a great life.  Why is it so important?  Not allowing vulnerability in ourselves greatly limits our ability to learn and grow.  We pump ourselves up and pretend that we are invulnerable.  We don’t take advice from people.  We don’t take advice from God.  We have a hard time seeing things from outside of ourselves.  Where does this all come from?  Ultimately, it comes from FEAR.  Fear of what you say?  Pick your poison.  This is going to differ from person to person.  It could be fears that you developed as a very young child that tell you not to cry.  It could be fears that showing your true emotions to people could lead to heartache or hurt.  Maybe we are afraid that being true to ourselves and vulnerable will bring big changes in our lives.  Maybe those changes mean growing up, changing groups of friends, or changing family dynamics.  Is vulnerability the key?  We are human beings.  We are people.  Many of us have been trained into what Joe Robinson calls the “Performance Identity.” We are taught in schools and social media that there is always a BETTER job you could be doing.  Better clothes.  A better car.  A better looking body.  The problem?  THERE IS NO END!  It creates an identity that is afraid to be what it is.  Simply human.  Simply a person.  By allowing room for vulnerability, we start dropping the illusion of all of this.  We start seeing ourselves, family, and friends as great people.  We realize that it is ok to be vulnerable.  It also makes it ok for others to be vulnerable around us.  The ironic thing?  By allowing vulnerability, we actually accomplish more.  Our relationships usually improve.  Our self-respect grows.  Our integrity improves.  We start HONESTLY looking at who we are and what we are and are not capable of.  So, you tell me.  Is vulnerability the secret to it all?



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