REAL MEN SERIES: FEAR

English: Words associated with Fear

REAL MEN have FEAR.

REAL PEOPLE have FEAR.

Unfortunately, many of us have grown up in a society that PRETENDS that fear doesn’t exist.  You afraid of something?  You aren’t a real man.  You have emotions?  Sorry again.  This is absolutely insane.  It sets us up for a host of problems in life.  This may include nervous breakdowns, abusive relationships, mismanaged emotions, job loss, suicides, and lack of purpose in life.  When part of us is afraid, but part of us doesn’t acknowledge the fear; we have two warring sections in our own body. We literally fight ourselves.  So how do we remedy all of this?  

REALIZE:  Fear is normal.  Emotions are normal.  It is normal to have fear if your parents die.  It is normal to have fear if you nearly die in an automobile accident.  It is normal to have fear discussing your deepest feelings with people.  These things have always been with us.  They are a part of life.  We need to realize that these are things EVERYONE has no matter how much they pretend.

ACCEPT:  Accept YOUR fears.  What scares me may not scare you.  We may be in different places with our spiritual lives.  We may have different financial situations.  Don’t let that “scare” you.  OWN your own fears.  Only by owning them can you begin to truly look at why they are there.  Also accept that YOU are the one who can change them.

ANALYZE:  Once you own your fears you can begin to actually think about what they mean to you, and if there is anything you can do to change them.  Some fears are completely rational and can be left alone.  These may include the fear of a venomous snake, getting shot in a hostage situation, or being careful driving your car on an icy road.  But what about the things you can change?  Do you need to be afraid to show your emotions to people?  Do you need to be perfect in front of yourself and others?  Do you need to constantly worry about little things in life?

WORK:  It takes work to change our fears guys.  It doesn’t happen overnight.  We have to want it.  It all begins with acceptance.  If that means going back to face something that happened to you as a child; so be it.  If it means admitting to yourself you are afraid of getting in a new relationship because of something that happened in an old one; so be it.  So many people let their fears control their lives.  We let ourselves become estranged into tiny boxes that we are afraid to come out of.  The problem is that our society doesn’t really teach people how to heal and face their fears.  It teaches us to play it safe and contract from anything that we perceive dangerous.  WELL EVERYTHING IS DANGEROUS IF WE DON’T TREAT IT!

Real men face their fears guys.  This is completely different from doing something dumb like driving off a cliff to PROVE you are “manly.”  Accept the vulnerabilities.  Start where you are.  One step at a time.  Facing your TRUE fears is one of the most rewarding things you can ever do.

“LIFE BEGINS AT THE END OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.” – Neale Donald Walsch

-JOE

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