Doing Enough?

Uptight.

Are YOU doing enough today?

Are you doing enough at your job?  I’m sure you could be doing better.  What about your health?  Your eating clean.  But are you exercising?  Are you getting daily sun exposure?  Are you working on your emotions?  Are your kids happy?  Is your wife happy?  When does it end?  Most of us are taught something here.  THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS DOING ENOUGH!  There is always something else we could be doing better.  There is always something we could be resolving.  So where do we find a balance?  Many people are truly not doing enough.  Many of us are trying to do too much.  So how do we figure this out?

PRIORITIZE:  Create priorities for your life.  We tend to focus too much on the things that don’t really matter and not enough on the stuff that really matters.  The ironic thing here?  When we focus on the stuff that REALLY matters, we find that we don’t strive so much on the little things.  What are the things I would advise working on?  Focus on the big things in life first.  GOD, FAMILY, HEALTH, RELAXATION, PASSION, PURPOSE, INNER PEACE AND HAPPINESS, FRIENDSHIPS, etc.  Don’t stress so much about how clean your car is, how much you can bench press, what your “macronutrient” ratios are, what you are NOT doing, etc.  These just are not important.  In fact, when we find ourselves focusing too much on TRYING to be perfect on superficial things; it often tells us that we are not listening to something bigger going on.  Why do you feel the need to vacuum your house every day?  Why do you feel like you have to defend yourself against what people think about you?  Why do you change the channel to avoid viewing something uncomfortable to you?  We need to build our houses with the proper foundations.  Tomorrow I will discuss the proper way to do this.  In the meantime, remember you’re a human being.  Remember that most of us are doing the best we can.  Often, it is WHERE we are putting our efforts that is the problem.  Remember to take time to rest and relax.  Remember you ARE doing enough in a lot of areas in your life. =)

-JOE

WE vs. I?

Herd of elk

WE vs. I.  What does that really mean?

We come into this world as an “I.”  If conditions are met, we slowly realize that we are also a we.  WE are part of a larger whole.  We are part of the rest of the people who are also I’s and We’s.  The more deep healing work we have done, the more we realize this to be true.  From a biological standpoint; this makes perfect sense.  A baby needs its mother.  It will not survive on its own so it needs to think about itself first.  We can’t help the world if we don’t survive =)  If the baby has a mother, situations are non-traumatic, and all is well; the child starts the slow but steady climb into personhood.  It learns as it grows that it is not as dependent on everybody else around it.  It has autonomy and a “self.”  Therefore, it does not need to be focused on “I” so much.  What if the child doesn’t think it got the love it needed?  Another block in the road.  We all have issues growing up.  We all have stuff that could use a little work.  If I drew a picture of how most of us live, would we be connected?  Or would we be SEPARATED PEOPLE LIVING TOGETHER?  What is the problem with all of this?  WE ARE WE’S!  We live together.  We are all part of this thing going on here.  The irony of it all?  The best way to help the world is to help yourself first.  I am not talking about material goods like helping yourself to bigger tv’s, nicer clothes, and more women.  I mean helping yourself spiritually.  Loving yourself enough to go through the hard work and grow.  What starts happening?  The more we resolve the “I” issues that we saw as unmet growing up; the more present we can be in the world today.  We become more INDEPENDENT.  We don’t live in FEAR as much.  If we don’t live in fear as much, we live in LOVE more!  What does love naturally want to do?  HELP others.  GIVE.  SHARE.  BE WE’S.  In fact, noticing how often you think about and do things for others seems to be a pretty reliable gauge (unless you are doing it for yourself).  Ultimately, we are human beings.  How does the system work?  In my view, God has created it pretty wonderfully.  We are designed to love ourselves enough to grow.  To go through the hard stuff.  As we grow, we can then in turn help others to grow as well.  We become “part” of the collective whole.  As we realize this, we want to help others as well.  If we haven’t found or acknowledged the pain and suffering in ourselves; how are we supposed to see it in others?  There is nothing that says we can’t work on ourselves WITH others.  Many people in the world are afraid to show others their true feelings.  Does this sound like WE behavior to you?  Love is said to be the only thing you can give away and have more of.  Let’s see if this is true.  Let’s start working together on becoming WE’S

-JOE
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REAL MEN SERIES: QUITTING

Alaska - Klondike Highway - Mountain

REAL MEN DON’T QUIT.

I don’t mean changing activities.  I don’t mean realizing that a certain thing just isn’t for us or that our life would be better off going in a different direction.  I mean giving up.  Falling over.  Rolling over.  Letting life steamroll us.  Life is HARD.  Sometimes we want to allow it to pummel us and just hold on to the ride as best as we can.  This just isn’t the right way to go about it.  No matter what happens in our lives, we need not quit.  We can always choose to actively face our pain.  We can always choose to actively fight and try to change things.  Sometimes we need to realize what is worth fighting for.  What I am talking about is quitting in the general sense.  Becoming passive in our own lives.  We all face challenges.  We all face problems.  Sometimes giving up on life seems like the easiest option.  Sometimes it seems like giving in would be easier than to keep going.  Often times, not quitting means facing great pain and suffering on a conscious basis.  Well I have news for you guys.  The pain is going to be there whether we are “actively experiencing” it or not.  The brave decision is to keep facing up to it.  There are some things that I think deserve special mention that are always worth fighting for.

YOURSELF:  NEVER give up on yourself.  NEVER.  Who you are is unique.  Who you are is strong and creative.  Don’t allow the world to bring you down.  You are always worth fighting for.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  Rejuvenation, healing, and growth are ALWAYS possible; no matter what your circumstances are.

FAMILY:  NEVER give up on your family.  This enters the realm of “unconditional love.”  Has somebody been a bad family member or relative to you in your opinion?  Should we out them or not include them?  Maybe we should let them know they offended us by criticizing their decisions.  Maybe if we don’t agree with how they are living their lives we should let them know in subtle ways that cut deep.  This is not the way of things.  All of us are individuals.  We are also members of a collective.  Our families are our closest collective units.  It has always been challenging to be part of a family.  We sometimes get lost in the illusion that OUR WAYS are the ways that the entire family should adhere to.  This just isn’t the case.  We can let everyone be who they are while maintaining our own beliefs and opinions.  Unconditionally loving the love in our family is the best option here.  Living out of love may not always feel good, but it sets a good example and everyone remembers genuine love.

EARTH:  NEVER give up on the planet guys.  We have serious serious problems here.  We pay sports stars millions while there are people starving in the world.  We wage wars and destroy our resources faster than we can replace them.  There is a new wave coming.  We are finally starting to come around to the idea that things MUST change if we are going to make this place safe for our children and their children after that.  Our technology has allowed us to do great things.  It has also allowed us to do things that we may have not been designed to do.  The planet deserves our respect.  It has supported life for a very long time.  Let’s all do our small part to help restore the earth and learn to live more in harmony with her.

GOD:  This is a tough one guys.  What is God?  The funny thing?  GOD is the same force that is interpreted billions of different ways.  I can’t say that my way is correct.  I can’t say that his or her way is wrong.  I can’t say that this group nailed it or that group is stupid.  There is one thing that I can say.  WE ARE WRONG WHEN WE THINK WE UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT GOD IS.  Who is leading the charge?  Are you following God or are you creating him?  It is so hard as humans not to “create” a God that fits what we think he should be.  Why do we do this?  Ultimately, I think it is because we don’t like to give control of our lives to something more powerful than we are.  Sometimes LISTENING to what God is is very hard.  When do the changes start happening?  When our ego, mind, body, and spirit realize that GOD is the one; not us.  God has the answers.  It’s his system.  We are all playing a part in it.  The best we can do as humans is to listen.  To listen and to trust.  Is it hard to trust God sometimes?  You bet your ass it is.  It just means to acknowledge that we are part of a much bigger system, and that as much as we would like at times, need to allow that system to operate outside of our own wants and desires.

“FOR WE KNOW IN PART AND WE PROPHECY IN PART.” – CORINTHIANS 13:9

 

Let’s take the plunge guys.  Don’t ever quit.  Keep growing.  Keep evolving.  Keep healing.  Face those tough battles.  Often the internal battles are the hardest.  This is one of the toughest lessons in life.  It is also one of the most important.  Life is tough sometimes, but WE ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.

-JOE

Emotional Release Series: Genealogy

Harry Potter Family

This is an extremely complex topic that one could spend a lifetime mastering.  It is wise not to rush through this but to look at it as more of a hobby instead of something that has an endpoint.  Most people know that genealogy is the science of piecing together your ancestry.  This usually involves looking into historical fact-books, data, speaking with family members, and delving deeply into the past.  Most of society seems to look at this from a historical or factual basis.  Let’s find out what happened so that we know about it.  This topic extends beyond the realm of personal psychology and your own history.  It is impossible for something to happen to another family member without it affecting you in one way or another.  The bigger the event, the bigger it will impact your life.  So what are the rules here?  I can’t pretend to be an expert in this field, as I believe it takes years to master this type of thing.  Basically, people like having their pain and heartache acknowledged and expressed.  That is the “healing” response.  So what happens when you have an ancestor who didn’t get that healing?  Maybe there was a deeply bitter divorce that was never reconciled.  Maybe a business venture between two brothers went sour and they never made up.  Maybe a death of a child couldn’t be resolved by the parents.  When we do not resolve our personal issues, they get passed on.  It is almost as if the family has its own mental/emotional energetic account of checks and balances.  We all know Einstein’s famous statement about energy.  It cannot be created or destroyed right?  Well this works within family systems as well.  You would not believe how often negative patterns get repeated in family systems.  Family histories of alcoholism, abuse, neglect, it goes on and on.  Often times children will absorb the energetic imprints of the parents.  Somewhere along the lines, the healing must happen.  What happens when we keep putting it off and putting it off and creating cycles of families that often hide or don’t deal with the truth of their reality?  You end up with a society that is emotionally damaged, has health problems, and can’t effectively deal with the realities of the “real world.”  Sound familiar?  Back to the point here.  Genealogy is a good way to start working on these things.  Often times, we can grieve for family members.  We can grieve for people who are long gone.  We all have our personal energetic accounts.  We also have family accounts.  I believe we also have global accounts but that is a much larger issue.  So the family “accounts” must be updated, collected on, acknowledged, and resolved if ourselves and families are to be health and successful throughout life.  Genealogy is often dependent on what type of family you live in.  Some families may keep detailed records to share with the children.  Looking back through history, knowing your family lineage and bloodline was EXTREMELY important.  Telling kids the legacies of the family including the pitfalls and successes was a part of life.  This is not to say people didn’t try to cover things up back then either.  I think it was just less common than it is today.  It was a lot harder to hide things.  So now that Joe has ranted for a while, how do we start?

GATHER: Gather as much information as you can.  This is always the first step before delving into anything deeper.  This is mostly a factual or scientific step.  This may include talking to relatives and gathering dates and events that have happened in the past.  Make sure to highlight big events.  Divorces, deaths, business failures, depressions, mental illness, health problems, etc.  I would take note of good things as well such as marriages, business successes, good relationships, “the good times.”  Dates are helpful, but not as essential in my opinion.  Energetic healing works with a different time scale than “calendar years.”  Do not expect this step to be accomplished overnight.

TALK:  Talk to people about their lives after you have compiled all the nitty-gritty information.  Talk to your relatives about their lives.  As you can imagine, things often get complicated here.  There are often reasons that family has chosen to keep things “under the rug” or unspoken.  These things are painful.  They hurt to drag up, especially if they are not resolved within that person.  If they revolve around you, be especially accommodating.  Sometimes bringing things up from a place of Love and acceptance is all it takes to resolve something.  The point here is not to coerce or force anything out of anyone.  Don’t push too hard.  You are simply trying to get the highs and lows in people’s lives and figure out what they are willing to talk about.  This is often amazing hearing people’s lives stories.  We are often so busy with our own lives that we forget to step into other people’s shoes for a while.

 

MEDITATE/PRAY:  This step is about using your own intuition and the assistance of the universe to figure out what direction to take things in.  Maybe you feel that something serious happened on one side of your family, but you can’t figure out quite how to put your finger on it.  Ask for a dream.  Setting our intentions to dream about certain circumstances can often reveal information that we didn’t think we knew.  The strange thing is that we already “KNOW” what happened.   It is just trapped very deep in our own energetic systems.  Meditating or praying is very powerful.  It can be even more powerful when done as part of a group uniting for a single cause.  If serious emotions emerge, go through them with respect, caution, and wisdom.

This is probably one of the harder techniques for working with emotions and energy.  We need to be ok with stirring things up.  It may be the unwritten “rule” in your family to keep things hush-hush.  Things may become very uncomfortable at times.  Of course keeping family matters inside the family is important.  We want to respect everyone’s privacy.  Remember that healing is a personal choice.  It is sometimes easier if people are willing to heal with us, but it is not required.  If people are willing, seeking a relationship or family counselor may be appropriate.  Again, this topic is extremely complex and wise to do at a slow and steady pace.  We usually find what we search for =)

-Joe

Benefits of Getting Away

Botanical Garden / Ogród Botaniczny

Sometimes we just want a little variety in life right?  A change of scenery, a different viewpoint, a break from the everyday.  This may mean a change of pace, schedules, places, etc and letting go of some of your “comforts” for a time being.  But what are the benefits here?

I’m not talking about going on some mega-vacation that is going to stress you physically, financially, and emotionally.  I’m talking about a little “getaway.”  A weekend trip, a retreat for a few days.  Packing light, not having a huge schedule, and “planning” for relaxation is what I’m getting at here.  We have become so obsessed with getting things done that we sometimes forget to just BE.  Unplug from the computers, the cell phones, the distractions and just BE.

Where is your favorite “getaway” or retreat that you go to for peace, recharging, relaxation, and fun?

-Joe